Family Constellations & The Constellation Approach
When we disentangle what is unresolved and come to peace with what is, life energy flows again and growth takes root…
Family Constellations & The Constellation Approach
The Family Constellation approach, also known as Systemic Constellations, is a revolutionary healing method developed by German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. Due to its powerful healing effects Hellinger’s approach rapidly spread from Germany across the globe over the last two decades.
Based on a family systems model, Hellinger’s innovative approach brings to light the unconscious, often destructive, dynamics and loyalties within families. He observed that traumatic events in one generation can exert a powerful force affecting later generations. Entangled with issues from the past, family members often unknowingly carry the burdens of their ancestors and continue patterns of anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, fear, chronic illness, and unfulfilled relationships.
Setting up a family constellation allows these hidden dynamics within the family to become visible. We can then work with these dynamics, often releasing and shifting the energy that was stuck and pointing to new ways to be within your family system so love and life force can flow again.
This approach can be done in private sessions by using footprints or figurines as representatives, or (when health and safety allow) in a seminar setting, with participants representing different family members.
Constellation work can enable you to:
Address unresolved issues & come to peace with painful events from the past
Shift dysfunctional patterns in current relationships
Break generational cycles of disconnection, alienation, abuse and dysfunction
Process unresolved grief
Gain a new perspective on parenting problems
Uncover reasons for physical and emotional suffering and take steps towards healing
Gain insight into professional conflicts or dilemmas
Find new direction in a time of transition and change
Overcome inner obstacles and break free from old patterns or loyalties holding you back, so you can take a next step into personal/professional growth
Gain greater personal strength, empowerment & resilience
After participating in a constellation, people often experience heightened insight and clarity, a greater level of love and compassion, more connectedness and belonging, and peace with what is.
Constellation Examples
The following are fictitious examples of possible clients and coaching scenarios, based on reality:
Coming to terms with grief and loss due to the pandemic
The pandemic has caused many people across the world to lose loved ones without being able to be by their side, due to hospital and travel restrictions or other things beyond their control. Tara lost her husband of 30 years and wasn’t able to be with him when he died in the hospital’s ICU. While she is a strong woman, this unresolved loss is tearing her apart. She comes in for a series of constellation sessions to connect with her husband on a soul level, thus being able to process this loss step by step in a way that goes beyond “talking about it” but allows her to fully feel all her feelings and come to greater resolution and acceptance.
Breaking through the grip of workaholism
Fiona, a single woman in her later thirties, has always been successful in her career. Her friends admire her and see her as a real go-getter. Fiona, however, has been feeling more and more empty inside as she realizes that, even though she would like to make time in her life to date and hopefully have a family, she cannot shake the grip of her work – even on weekends. She has lost a couple of promising relationships due to this pattern. Through family constellation work we uncover that Fiona’s father, whom she admired greatly, was always gone for work. Fiona, being the oldest of 5 and the brightest, was always trying to excel at school and exceed his expectations – hoping to catch his attention and gain his approval. With constellation work, Fiona is able to reach the root of her workaholism and integrate her father’s love and approval. This frees her from her destructive pattern and opens the way to love and be loved in a new way. (Fiona decides to add on a series of coaching sessions to support the good work she has done, to redesign her life and create new and lasting habits around work, play and self-care.)
Understanding and shifting marriage dynamics
Stella has been married for eight years and is struggling with a recurring pattern in her marriage that is puzzling her and feels charged in ways she doesn’t fully understand. While her husband is a kind man, she often tends to pull back energetically, and this has been affecting their intimacy more and more. She comes in for a series of constellation sessions to look at this dynamic and trace its roots to the dynamic in her family of origin. By addressing some unresolved issues between Stella and her father, and better understanding the blockage between her father and mother, Stella is able to let go of her childhood blueprint around intimacy and let her husband in in a new way.
Coping with loss and guilt after child’s death
Melanie comes in at the recommendation of another practitioner, because even though she is doing everything she can to move on after the death of her child, she is feeling completely stuck in her grief and guilt. This is also creating a painful strain on her marriage. Through constellation work, Melanie is able to bring movement to her grief process and over a series of sessions, she is able to come to a place of greater acceptance of her child’s fate, and her fate as mother. We also use constellation work to help Melanie work through the barriers with her partner, and connect with inner and outer resources to feel better supported through this challenging time.
Additional examples of Constellations with Coaching
can be found at the bottom of the Coaching page
